How did I cultivated self-worth

“You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” – Brené Brown

I always knew I didn’t value myself as I should, but what I didn’t realize was just how bad it actually was. Now that I’ve been learning and researching the topic extensively for the guide I recently created, I see how low my self-worth had been. You see, I never took the time to stop and reflect on this. Looking back, I probably felt that if I paused, I would have to confront that feeling inside, that emptiness, so I kept going, keeping myself always busy and distracted.

Now that I understand how profoundly our sense of worth affects all aspects of our lives, I want to share this knowledge with every woman. I want her to know that there's nothing wrong with her, that her feelings are normal, and that there are ways to actively cultivate self-worth.

My story with worthiness began even before birth. I have an older brother, and during his pregnancy, my mother suffered immensely, nearly dying during delivery. When she found out she was pregnant with me, she wasn't happy; in fact, she had a huge fight with my father. Understandably, she thought, "If I didn’t die last time, maybe this time I will!" Her only point of reference was a traumatic experience. So there I was, as a tiny soul—so delicate and yearning for love—rejected even before I was born. But as it turned out, my mother had a smooth experience with my pregnancy, and she didn’t die.

I have known that story all my life; it was recounted as if it were nothing special. But for me, it was different. For me, that story was a silent whisper that continuously told me I was not good enough. It didn’t matter that consciously I understood my mother’s fears. Unconsciously, I internalized the belief: I am not good enough.

The issue with our beliefs is that we live as though they are true, even when they aren't. This creates a cycle where beliefs are reinforced by our actions. Here’s how this happens: Our actions often align with our beliefs, meaning if we believe we're not good enough, we might avoid opportunities where we could excel or diminish our own successes. Essentially, we act in ways that confirm our beliefs, creating a reinforcing loop that can be challenging to break.

Even though I embarked on my personal development journey early on, it took years before I could truly see the lie I had been telling myself all my life! It required time, dedication, and a lot of compassion, but it was all worth it. Today, I feel like a completely different person: confident, not seeking external approval, connected to my true self, happy, and fulfilled. Most importantly, I know and believe that my worth is unconditional—I am loved and valued just because I exist.

Now, I want to share with you what I've learned to help cultivate your self-worth. I've created a detailed guide that you can download (HERE), featuring practical, transformative steps designed to help you embrace your true value. 

As you start your journey to find and embrace yourself, think about these key elements to build your self-worth:

1. Create space for reflection

   

This is crucial, we won’t be able to change anything in our life if we don’t slow down and take our time

to reflect. Reflect in your experience of life so far, your strengths, weaknesses, values and your uniqueness. Self-Awareness is the base of any personal development work.

2. Practice positive self-talk

This takes time, but we need to reframe negative thoughts and reinforce them with positive affirmations. Every time that old believe wants to creep in, say cancel, and then reinforce it with a positive. 

When I started this process I learn this affirmation, I put it everywhere in my house and read it many times during the day, specially when an intrusive old belief wanted to show up. You are welcome to use it as well. The affirmation is:

My very existence in and

Of itself provides extraordinary 

Value, and it is a profound

Blessing to all!

3. Set Boundaries

This is not easy, specially in the beginning, but the more you love and value yourself you start to understand that it is OK to say no, that you are not going to be less loved for doing that and that your time and energy are sacred. Every time you say yes to others, you are saying no to yourself. You’ll learn to prioritize your needs and give yourself the time and energy you deserve.

4. Embrace self-compassion

There is no growth without compassion. Yes you are going to mess up, to forget and fall behind, but with grace and compassion you’ll get back up and continue the process. 

I like to think of this process like when a baby is leaning to walk, how many times do they fall? A thousand? And even then no one ever says, oh this one is not meant to walk. So don’t give up on yourself, do the work, be compassionate and patient. 

5. Surround yourself with positivity

Think of your mind and life as a garden. To flourish, it requires the right environment and nurturing care this includes removing the unwanted weeds. Surrounding yourself with positivity involves inviting supportive people and uplifting experiences into your life while removing negativity and toxicity. By doing so, you create a thriving, nourishing space where you can grow and blossom into your best self.

6. Pursue Personal Growth

Never stop learning, in life you are either growing or dying. Choose to grow by feeding your mind with information that empowers you and invites you to be better. That’s what personal growth is, is to strive to be a better version of yourself each day, and to that you need tools that can be found in books, audiobooks, podcast, classes, workshops (my favorite way to learn, because you also get to meet cool people that are in the same or similar process than you). Nowadays it is really easy, truly there is no excuse to not learn something.

Changing our beliefs and cultivating our self-worth doesn’t happen overnight, but it is absolutely possible, especially when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change. Our minds often resist change, preferring what's known and comfortable. This is why you need a strong commitment to creating a better life for yourself and your loved ones.

Remember, each small step taken in the direction of self-improvement is a victory. Celebrate these moments and be gentle with yourself as you grow. Surround yourself with positivity and seek support from people who uplift you.

In the end, the journey to self-worth isn't just about transforming your life—it's about discovering the strength and beauty that were within you all along. As you continue on this path, consider what actions you can take today to honor and value yourself. Your future self will thank you for the love and commitment you show in these moments. Keep believing in your worth and keep moving forward.

Remember you can download the guide here

Thanks for reading and keep growing!

With love,

Nathalia Mahecha